Who Are You?
by Allz1298
Summary: What if Olivia decided she was going to run an unauthorized DNA test... On herself? Does she find out who her father is? What if he is closer to her than she thinks? How will she cope once she finds out? And what complications come with it? Will she cuff him? Find out once you click the nice story title. Allie ;D
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay, so this is my first fanfiction, I just got brave enough to submit a story. Let me know how I'm doing, if there's any mistakes, or if you have any ideas? Or if you even want me to continue for that matter. And like everyone else says, Rate&Review! Thanks, Allie. =D

A/N2: Okay, I fixed Kathleen's name and a few other mistakes that I found. Thanks to those who reviewed and pointed them out to me!

* * *

"Hey, Liv," Elliot called to her from his spot across from her in the precinct. "Kathleen wanted us to go to lunch with her. Have time for a break?" He wanted to make sure she was okay. She had been quiet all day and hadn't said much. Now she was just staring at her computer screen blankly. Elliot could tell she was just pretending to read through her e-mails. When he talked to her she had jumped, immediately refocusing on what she was doing.

They had just finished a case on a little boy who had been being raped by his reading tutor, which a hobo had witnessed. Kid cases were always harder than the rest. Elliot was sure that's what she was thinking about. A lunch date would sure cheer her up anyway. _Wait… Lunch _date_? _Ever since the divorce he had been thinking things and saying things like that. Fin and Munch had even called him out on it a few times.

The first time, Olivia had seemed a little startled at the insinuation, but after a few times she had just laughed it off, not giving him much hope for a date anytime soon. So he had to start thinking about what he said before he said it. It made him think he was acting like a second grader…

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, sure El. Let me get my purse," She responded.

They arrived at the diner where they were meeting Kathleen. Olivia slid into the booth and Elliot sat next to her. "So any special reason you wanted to have lunch today?" Elliot asked his daughter.

"Yeah, Dad, human beings need to eat, ya know." She said, rolling her eyes. He glared at her and she muttered an apology. "Not really, just haven't seen 'livia in a while." Kathleen glanced at her briefly.

"You know you could see me any time, right? Any of you kids," Olivia told her. The waiter arrived to take their orders.

* * *

Elliot had gotten up to go to the bathroom and Katherine had looked like she desperately wanted to say something her. "Kathleen, what is it?" She looked like she was about to blow laughed at that thought. She noticed that Katherine suddenly looked kind of nervous. "It's okay to say it, whatever it is,"

"Well," she started, "In class we are doing papers on human psychology after something traumatic has happened to them. I decided I was going to do my essay on rape victims." Olivia swallowed and nodded for her to continue. "And I…" Kathleen looked at her, biting her lip, wondering whether she should say what she was thinking out loud. Olivia raised her eyebrows at her, thinking of all of the possible things she could say right then.

"Kathleen," she said softly, "go ahead,"

"I wanted to know if you ever thought about who your father was? I mean, have you ever wondered who the guy was? Like if he was a business man, a serial rapist, or a hobo off the street? It would kill me every day if I didn't know." Olivia had let her head down halfway through Kathleen's rant. These things were all possibilities. Though she knew her father was a rapist. Nothing was going to change that.

"Oh, Olivia I'm sorry. I… I didn't mean to say those things aloud. I didn't mean to make you sad," Katherine pleaded with her, not wanting to make her unhappy.

"Hey," Olivia said, putting her hand hesitantly over Kathleen's on the table, "its fine. I've gotten over it. And… yes. I have wondered who my father was. When I was little, I always used to ask my mom who he was and all she would say was that he was away. When I was 11 I had finally stopped asking about why we didn't have any pictures of him, or why my mom didn't wear a wedding ring. I learned to live with the fact that I would never have a dad,"

"That must've been hard,"

"Yeah," was all Olivia responded softly. "It was."

"Hey, my favorite girls," Elliot said while walking back to the table, "I'll go get the check then we can go," He kissed Kathleen's cheek and walked away.

* * *

Olivia lay in her bed, wide awake. She glanced at the clock to her left on the nightstand. The bright red, flashing numbers read 1:27. She groaned, and rolled over onto her stomach, stuffing her face into the pillow.

She was kept up thinking about her conversation with Kathleen at lunch earlier. Who was her father? Cragen. Cragen was the closest thing to her as a father. He protected her, watched her back. Like Elliot. But Elliot didn't do it in a fatherly way, but in more like a worried husband. She laughed at that thought. Fin and Munch were like that too, but in another way. Fin was like her big brother, she was his baby girl. Munch was just the crazy godfather. Heh, that was funny too. She was definitely not sober. She had a few beers while eating some pizza and watching soap opera reruns. Okay, maybe more than a few.

Was her father a ship captain, or a soldier? A lowly drug dealer? A Wal-mart cashier? A clown? That might be the reason for her fright of clowns. Or Stephen King's It… No, definitely not sober. But did she really want to know who her father was? Did she really want to be disappointed any more than she already had? Or, like Kathleen said, would she let it slowly kill her from the inside?

She knew what she had to do. Tomorrow she would ask Melinda for a favor.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay, so I really might need some ideas for this story. I mean, I know who Olivia's father is going to be, but I don't know what she's going to do about it yet… Though I do know Elliot might be comforting her… or Olivia gets mad at him… who knows? Just let me know whatcha think. Allie =D

Olivia must've fallen asleep sometime last night since she woke up to the shrill cry of the annoying alarm clock on her bedside table. She groaned and slowly got up to take a quick shower. Those beers had definitely not been a good idea.

She quickly cleaned herself and got out of the bathroom, shaking her hair dry with her hands. She threw on her jeans and blouse. Olivia grabbed her phone, badge, and gun, then headed out to hail herself a taxi.

When Olivia got to the one six, there was a steaming cup of coffee on her desk. "Thanks, El," she said to her partner.

"Welcome," He smiled at her.

"Where's my coffee, ain't I deserve one, too?" Fin questioned him. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you had a thing for my baby girl."

"C'mon Fin, we're partners. And El just got divorced. Don't be stupid," Olivia told Fin simply.

"Hey! I didn't get any either!" Munch barged in. Elliot stood up and went over to the precinct's coffee pot, poured a cupful, then dropped it on Munch's desk. Since he didn't put a top on, it sloshed all over the paperwork on the desk.

"Oops," Elliot shrugged. Munch just gaped at him, pointing in turn to his ruined papers and Elliot. He frowned then proceeded to clean it up.

"Thanks, man, really appreciate it."

A few hours later Olivia stood up from her desk, and announced she was going on a coffee run. "You guys want anything?" They all shook their heads in response.

"I'll go with ya," Cragen walked up. "If that's okay with you, Olivia."

"Sure, Cap," she told him.

Olivia tugged on her jacket, having forgotten this morning that it was mid-November. They walked past a few shops, when something caught her eye. "Cap… is that who I think it is?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Who is that with her? I don't recognize him."

"Liv, Kathy is probably with her boyfriend." He soothed.

"But this soon after the divorce? Its barely been a month," She was starting to get upset now. What if she had been having an affair behind Elliot's back while they were still together?

"Are you going to tell him?" Cragen asked her.

"He would want to know. El might kill me if he found out I knew and didn't tell him,"

"Let's go," Cragen said after a minute.

Fin, Munch, and Cragen had gone home hours ago. Olivia was doing the thing where she stared blankly at the computer screen, but this time she was biting her nails in that damn provocative way. _Damn, where the hell had that come from?_ Elliot was slowly losing it.

"Liv," he spoke up, "what's on your mind?" She seemed surprised that he was still there.

"El, what're you still doing here? Shouldn't you be home with the kids?" She was avoiding his question.

"Liv," he said sternly, "tell me."

She sighed when he came over and sat on the edge of her desk. "I'm going to run a DNA test."

"But we don't have a case, whose DNA are you going to test?"

"Mine, El." Olivia whispered.

"Olivia Benson, why the hell would you do that? Wanna find out if you committed a felony or somethin'?" She swallowed at his proximity, and the shame of her curiosity.

"You know? Nevermind, it was stupid anyway." She grabbed her jacket and purse, ready to leave.

"No, Liv, tell me." He grabbed her arm. "I'm sorry. I really want to listen."

Olivia sighed again and stated, "I want to know who my father is." Elliot stared at her.

"Why the hell would you want to do that? You're just going to shut yourself down when you figure out he's a serial rapist, or some murderer that's rotting in a jail cell! Then you're going to beat yourself up and think that you're not worth anything to anybody! Don't do it, Liv. Please? For me?"

"No, Elliot! I have to know who I am, who I came from!"

"What the fuck are you gonna gain from this? Absolutely nothing! I'm begging you Liv, just don't do it! What are you going to tell Melinda anyway? She won't do it."

"I'm not going to tell her. I'll do it myself." She pushed past him and headed towards the lab. Elliot swallowed and watched her go. This was not going to be good.

"Hey, Olivia. I was just about to go, hot date tonight," Melinda apologized.

"That's fine," Olivia assured.

"We can walk out together, if you want?"

"Nah, that's okay," she told her, "go on your date."

"Olivia," Melinda said calmly but worriedly, "what's going on?"

"Nothing," she said strongly, "please go on your date now." The two women locked eyes, neither one wanting to back down. Melinda knew that whatever Olivia was going to do was important, so she decided to let her off of the hook. Just that once. She would talk to her when she was ready, or she was sure she wouldn't want to know anyways.

"Okay," she turned around and headed down the hall. She didn't want that haunting her while she was having fun with her man.

Olivia found a DNA swab to swab her cheek with. She took it out of its blue casing and brushed it against the inside of her mouth, making sure to get enough saliva on it. She put the Q-tip look-alike into a glass container, then into the mass-spectrometer. (A/N2: that probably is not the right spelling, but pretend it is, okay?)

She was going to stay the whole night to run her DNA against all of the databases they had, just to make sure she didn't miss anything. She tried not to let what Elliot had said get to her. She wouldn't let herself close off from her closest friends. They were like family.

The computer beeped, signally that it had found a match. It woke Olivia up from her slumber. She rubbed her hands over her face, trying to wipe the sleep away. When she could see fully, she squinted at the computer screen. Why the hell was it so bright? Without looking at the match she printed it out. She glanced at the name on the paper. She couldn't believe what it said.

A/N3: Oooooh, cliffhanger. I'm mean, aren't I? Too bad, you'll just have to review to see who her father really is. TTFN, Allie. ;D


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Okay, I am writing this while I am half asleep, since I stayed up to watch the new Rizzoli & Isles because I missed the first showing of it and I had to watch it at 11. Then all 3 of my sisters decided I was getting up early today. Anyway… the ideas in this chappie are prolly not going to be any good. But The Reviewers deserved a little something. Sorry if it's short.

Did I mention I went to see The Avengers for the first time yesterday? Sad, I know. It was actually more interesting than I thought. Lots of cute guys. I mean, have you seen Captain America? Iron Man? Thor? Daaaaaaamn. I'm rambling. So, REVIEW REPLIES!

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Edboy4926: Thanks, I tend to be better at intros than the actual story part…

Amanda4Meloni: I appreciate the heads up on the names. I actually hadn't watched the show in a while so my memory was a bit foggy. Other reviewers weren't as nice as pointing that out to me… Oh and I do want to know why you think that I'm going to make him the father?

OrangeHippopotamus: Thanks for reading, my bestie! :p

Olivia: I will do my best, but my muse seems to leave me often. We have an abusive relationship. =D

Anon: That was not very nice language. I would appreciate it if you talked to me nicer. You would have more efficient results.

Casey15Fun: English is my first language, though I am young. I try my best, and I am unfamiliar as to how beta-ing works. I appreciate your review!

Jennifer Catlin DiNozzo: You liked it that much? I would have to say it wasn't my best. Here's Your next chap, though!

* * *

Disclaimer: I know that I have forgotten this in a few chapters/stories, so NOPE, not owned by me.

* * *

Elliot woke up to a knock on his door. He groaned and rolled back over; knowing whoever it was could wait. That is, until he heard a female curse. "Dammit, El, I know you can hear me knocking!" He shook his head then walked to the door, opened it and revealed a quite angry looking Olivia.

"What the fuck is this?" She shouted at him, shoving the DNA results to his chest. Elliot opened his door wider so Olivia could come in.

He lifted the paper up, glancing at the name that was printed there. "Why the hell does it say I am a familial match to Kathy Stabler?"

"I-"

"No, El, don't give me a goddamned excuse as to why you didn't tell me. You knew, you bastard! You knew who my mother's rapist was! My _father. _But you _still _didn't tell me!"

"How was I supposed to turn my _wife's _dad in for rape? How, in any way, would that go right for me? Huh? Would you like to tell me that?"

"You could've _at least _put a rapist in jail! Or maybe have been a _friend _to me!" She shouted in his face. "El, you would've been my hero."

"Olivia, you don't know how much I wanted to tell you. But I knew I couldn't without knowing for sure! I didn't want to get your hopes up just to be the asshole that burned them down again!"

"So you run a DNA test on Kathy. Why?"

"She was having doubts about her mother's faithfulness. I was being the dutiful husband that makes his wife's worries go away." He explained.

"So what, now you're _still _fucking loyal to her, not me? El, I thought we were partners." Elliot rubbed his face with his hands and sat down on his couch.

"Liv, he's a changed man. He's a good guy. He does charity work, donates money to places. He's not bad anymore,"

"Go to hell, Elliot! How am I supposed to explain to your kids that I'm actually their aunt? I'd like to have you come up with a brilliant one for that," She said sarcastically.

"You know they think of you as a second mother!"

"Well they have some pretty fucked up mothers! One was the product of a rape the other mother's dad committed, who was cheating on her husband!" Olivia yelled.

"She, she what?"

"Oh El, I-I didn't mean to tell you like that," she whispered.

"No, it-its fine. We're over anyway,"

Olivia sat down next to Elliot on the couch and hugged him. She kissed his ear and said, "I'm sorry,"

* * *

Everyone must've been out chasing a lead when Olivia came into the precinct-no one was there. She went up to Cragen's desk and sat down in his chair. She opened the bottom drawer, where she knew he stashed his bottle of bourbon and shot glasses. She ignored the glasses and just took out the bottle. She took a healthy swig and it burned her throat. She didn't know why she was there; it wouldn't help anything.

It probably wasn't a good thing that the bottle was now only a fourth full, considering Olivia was the only one that had taken a drink out of it. She lifted her feet up onto Cragen's desk and leaned back in his chair.

She heard his footsteps on the other side of the door. Olivia didn't try to hide the fact that she had broken in to his stash of alcohol, or that she had been drinking at all. When Cragen walked in, he was surprised to say at least. "Olivia, what're you doing here? Elliot said you weren't feeling okay and that you needed the day off,"

"Oh, Elliot, the good 'ole partner. He is such a sweetheart, ya know?" She slurred.

"Yeah, Liv. He's a good guy. Maybe he'll take you home. How does that sound?"

"He's taking me home? I've always wanted him to do that." Cragen stopped in his tracks at that. It was something he really didn't need to hear.

"Hey, did ya know that his cheatin' bitch of an ex-wife is my sis?"

"No, Liv, I-, wait. What?"

"DNA test. Haven't ya ever heard of one, you old bat? I did one on myself," she said smugly.

"Oh, Liv."

He called Elliot to go and take Olivia home, giving him the rest of the day off. "Take good care of her," he warned.

"You know I will, Cap,"

* * *

Elliot crashed into his apartment while clutching Olivia to his side. "Hey, El, did ya take me home yet? I've been waiting a long time," she insisted.

"Nah, Liv, we're at my place."

"Well, are ya gonna take me to your room or what?"

"Olivia Benson, you are one-hundred percent drunk," he told her, trying to pretend that those words didn't do anything to his lower extremities. He decided that she would be more comfortable in a bed, so he lead her to his room. Elliot gently pushed her onto his bed and took her shoes off.

"C'mon El, you know you want to," Olivia's husky voice whispered.

* * *

A/N2: Insert creepy organ music here.


	4. Chapter 4

Ok, I'm sorry for the wait guys. I've been working on my Dad's Father's Day gift, which was a story. I haven't had any time to write for any of my stories. I started too late to have time for anything else. Hope you forgive me!

I promise a chapter by the end of tomorrow for this story. Maybe another day or so for the other ones.

Talk to you tomorrow. You know, if you're still reading. :)


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Okay, again, I'm sorry for the wait. It's like 90-something degrees out, and I really want to get into my pool. So, yeah, I'd say you guys were pretty lucky for getting this today because it's been a couple of weeks for my other ones. Even though it's pretty short because I'm not really sure what I want to do with this story right now. So if you have any ideas please write a review or PM me.

Olivia woke up with only her bra and underwear on. She rolled over and breathed into the pillow that was there. It smelled slightly like Elliot. But she shook that thought from her head. Though she couldn't remember anything after drinking in Cragen's office. That made her less assured of herself. It was what? 10 hours ago that she had gone up to the precinct? She groaned then decided to get into the shower. She didn't believe that she had slept with Elliot.

Olivia decided she was going to take walk. She had an awful hangover, so she took a few aspirin. Cragen had left her a message telling her that if she even attempted to go into work today that she would be looking for a new job. But now she was bored.

Olivia didn't know if she wanted to turn in her father or not. If she did, it would give her and her mother closure. And Kathy might get mad at Elliot, and decide that he wouldn't be able to see his kids anymore. God, she couldn't let that happen. Elliot would hate her for doing that to him.

If she didn't turn him in, she would be letting a murder get away. Even if Elliot said that he had changed, it would still be wrong. But he was her father. Not a very good one at that. She knew that wasn't his fault, though. She doubted he even knew that her mother had even gotten pregnant, let alone know that she was his.

Olivia grabbed her keys, jacket, and opened her apartment door. She locked it, then started to wander the streets of New York. She watched as late business men, hurried mothers, and college students rushed through the crowds on their way to wherever they were going.

She stopped at a small café at the end of a block that was right next to a boutique filled with baby girl clothes. In the windows there were tiny headbands that matched the miniature onesies they were paired with. There were flowers and pink on full display. As she noticed them, Olivia remembered that she had never really had a childhood.

Her mother was always drunk and never around for her. She wondered how she had gotten through it sometimes. Always seeing her face- she must look exactly like him, because Olivia looked nothing like her mother. A new rush of anger flowed through her when she remembered the pain that her father had caused her and her mother. That rape changed her mother's life forever.

She wondered how the rape went. Like was her mother coming home from the grocery store, from a club, or just on her way to her friend's house? She didn't know, and she frankly didn't have the courage to ask. She had left her mother's house for a reason. If she asked her mother, she would probably drink herself into oblivion. They hadn't even heard each other's voices in years. Both women could be cowardly.

As Olivia walked into the café, she was met with warmth and the bitter aroma of freshly brewed coffee, along with the sweet scent of vanilla and fattening pastries. The chairs in the lounge area looked very comfortable with the plush pillows in various areas. There weren't any college students ordering at that time, so Olivia went right up and told the young girl at the register what she wanted. She treated herself to a coffee and a blueberry muffin.

She sat down at one of the four person tables that were facing the windows that looked out towards the busy streets. Olivia stretched out her aching legs on one of the chairs that sat across from her. She watched as the traffic filtered through that part of the city.

She was long done with her warm muffin when Olivia noticed a familiar face. She quickly threw her coffee cup and muffin wrapping in the garbage, then rushed into the sea of people.

"Kathy!" She yelled. "Kathy!"

Olivia watched as she turned around, then quickly turned back.

"Kathy, please! I really need to talk to you about something,"

Then over her shoulder, Kathy replied, "If it's about Elliot I don't wanna hear it,"

"It's not, I promise,"

Kathy stopped at the edge of the street and waited for Olivia to catch up to her.

"What is it then?" Kathy asked.

Olivia stopped and looked at her for a moment, wondering how to explain the situation when she slowly put her hand into her jacket and pulled the crinkled piece of paper she had found on her couch out. She handed it to Kathy. Olivia watched as she suspiciously smoothed the paper out and swiftly grazed her eyes over it, then her facial expressions changing from suspicion to confusion, then realization.

"Elliot knew, you know," Olivia told her.

"He didn't cuff him right then and there when he realized it?"

"He thought he was protecting you from living without a father for the rest of your life, and your kids without a grandfather. Or your mother without a husband,"

"You're not going to be that considerate, are you?" Kathy asked her.

"Not sure yet," she told her. "But what I do know is, is that I want to meet my father,"

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you're my sister," Olivia told her while pointing towards the paper that was still in her hands. Kathy looked at her for a moment, and then nodded.

"Okay,"

Olivia couldn't believe it. She was going to meet her father. She didn't know whether or not she should be excited or if she should get her cuffs out from the drawer that sat next to her bed.


End file.
